:umm:

1) pepsi throwback. one of their marketing ploys is "made with real sugar!" i mean. really? is that one of the best attributes you can come up with? real sugar? i'm no fan of high fructose corn syrup, but they come off as trying to sound healthy! please pepsi. just knock it off. your product is crap and you know it.

2) fruit2day. A NEW WAY TO EAT FRUIT!@# :hyper: perhaps you've seen the commercial where the chick tries to eat a peach at her desk but acts like its one of the most difficult feats one could ever hope to pull off. juice runs everywhere and she looks all exasperated, like, man i sure would like to eat fruit but it's just so HARD in it's natural state. you know, this perfectly contained piece of fruit with skin.... HOW DOES MOTHER NATURE EXPECT ME TO GET THIS GOODNESS IN ME!@# oh thank god the fruit2day people have cracked the code!@# put it in a bottle and charge us a million bucks for the privilege of easily drinking my peaches!@# it's about time!@# sigh.

so, today is the start of "march madness". it tips off in a few minutes. i have no idea who will win. probably kansas, cuz bill self is their coach (formerly illini) and i hate him and them and everything they stand for. i'd rather see duke win it all!@# ugh. illinois showed stoney brook a thing or two in the NIT last night though. so i've got that going for me. which is nice. :\

so, one blog topic i have noted in my blackberry notes is "left bb at work". (bb = blackberry :B) so, this was a few weeks ago. i, left my blackberry at work. got home... no phone. and i swear to god my palms got a little sweaty! i felt, i dunno, just.... off or something. my whole world was upside down and topsy turvy. food didn't taste right. i couldn't think. so i ended up going BACK to work and grabbing my phone and coming back home. about a half hour round trip. how sad is that? pathetic and sad. but oh how i did love my phone that night. TOO much, probably. :)

Ahhh good times. My Stuart Smalley self esteem books did come though. I'm about halfway through the book. I definitely have severely low self esteem, which manifests itself though extreme passivity. There are exercises in there which are almost exactly what I had imagined they would be. "List some times u was passive. Write how u could has been different. Write how things would work out different if u was different. Be specific." *meltface* It's like, I'm reading this book and know I'm messed up and know I want to change, but the thought of actually doing some of it terrifies me. Like, WHAT? You want me to speak up for myself? Share an opinion? WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU!@!# WHY WOULD U TORTURE ME LIKE THAT!@# AAAGHGHHFHFHGHDFHHG$%@#$%@#$%@#$%@#$%

Also my shoes are all scuffed and filthy again. :(

2nd... manliness. ok! so i did actually shine my shoes sunday night. and i did NOT wreck them! :0 they look nice! its a shocking turn of events. my brother and i are also working on developing some sort of manly hobbies, you know, besides typing up tons of horrible crap on the internet!@# so far we are playing a game of online chess against each other. :\

day 3 of my 30 days to manliness thing... might be difficult. i'm supposed to find a mentor. which, sounds pretty horrible. i have a few ideas, but, i really don't wanna ask some dude HEY! I SUCK AND YOU DON'T! COULD U TEACH ME SOME NOT SUCKING STUFF!@# TIA!@# i'm thinking maybe i go about it a little more low-key. like, just talk to them casual, maybe do some things with them and pick their brain without them realizing that the brainpicking actually = mentoring! ahhh??? hmm. i wonder if part of the manliness of the task is having the balls to ask someone to be a mentor. :(

also, STILL waiting for my self-esteem handbook. it probably won't ever come because i suck so much ass.

i don't have much to rail about today. mostly just wanted to restart this badboy and get back into a groove of writing. see, i'm embarking on a life-turning-around period of... my life and i like to write! so i'm trying to do less time wasting and more actual DOING of things. like writing. reading. maybe start up some racquetball or running or something. cook new things. basically, anything that's not rotting my brain on the tv.

my brother and i both have this innate sense of ourselves being horrible. like, that is what we believe deep down inside. and so we fight that, but it always wins out. WELL NOT THIS TIME HORRIBLE INSIDES!@# not this time no sir thank you sir! this time i've ordered a self-esteem book and workbook! so who knows, maybe i will post my way through the book here as a chronicle of my journey from horrible to great baeness and the baetude of manly wonder.

though i gotta say, when i think about working on "self-esteem" issues, i can't help think about stuart smalley garbage! OOOHH!@# I'M GOOD ENOUGH! I'M SMART ENOUGH! AND DOGGONE IT... PEOPLE LIKE ME! sigh. maybe i'll just go buy some swillbeer. hopefully it will be drinkable.

I CAN HAS W00T!@# i think an interwoob dinosaur might say that.

ok, so! for my great blog comeback, i'm going to dive right back in to commercials that PISS ME OFF!@# today's hatred gets spewed towards bud light and their whole "drinkability" campaign. seriously? you're going to sell me your crap swillbeer by telling me it's drinkable? DRINKABLE? well good god nothing like going out on a limb!@# might as well just tell me its a liquid! NOW MORE LIQUIDY THAN EVAR!@# WOOT!@# bam, that's bud light's new ad. IT GOES DOWN UR THROAT EASIER THAN A TUBE DOWN A THROAT THAT LOVES TUBES IN IT!@# and by that we mean that it goes down your throat easily because of its drinkableness!@# what kind of beverages are people trying to sell that aren't drinkanble? isn't that a pretty basic beverage requirement? ARE YOU TIRED OF TRYING TO DRINK BEER WITH THE CONSISTENCY OF CONCRETE? OF COURSE YOU ARE! WELL U ARE IN FOR A TREAT, BECAUSE ANHUESER BUSCH HAS DISCOVERED A NEW PROPRIETARY AND PATENTED TECHNOLOGY THAT ALLOWS US TO PRODUCE BEER THAT IS, GET THIS, DRINKABLE! BUD LIGHT, GET YOURS TODAY.

maybe my blog could get sponsored by sam adams or something. >;0