:umm:

Some commercials to hate.

2010-04-23T14:43:00.002-05:00

i'd like to complain about a couple newish food products. is that ok? good.

1) pepsi throwback. one of their marketing ploys is "made with real sugar!" i mean. really? is that one of the best attributes you can come up with? real sugar? i'm no fan of high fructose corn syrup, but they come off as trying to sound healthy! please pepsi. just knock it off. your product is crap and you know it.

2) fruit2day. A NEW WAY TO EAT FRUIT!@# :hyper: perhaps you've seen the commercial where the chick tries to eat a peach at her desk but acts like its one of the most difficult feats one could ever hope to pull off. juice runs everywhere and she looks all exasperated, like, man i sure would like to eat fruit but it's just so HARD in it's natural state. you know, this perfectly contained piece of fruit with skin.... HOW DOES MOTHER NATURE EXPECT ME TO GET THIS GOODNESS IN ME!@# oh thank god the fruit2day people have cracked the code!@# put it in a bottle and charge us a million bucks for the privilege of easily drinking my peaches!@# it's about time!@# sigh.

Blog Topics.... seem stupid.

2010-03-18T11:01:00.002-05:00

But nevertheless I need to write something. Can I pretend all the manliness / self-esteem crap never happened? WHAT'S THAT? OMG WHO'S BEEN ROTEDING ALL OVER MY BLOG!@# GET OUTTA HERE@!@!# :floet:

so, today is the start of "march madness". it tips off in a few minutes. i have no idea who will win. probably kansas, cuz bill self is their coach (formerly illini) and i hate him and them and everything they stand for. i'd rather see duke win it all!@# ugh. illinois showed stoney brook a thing or two in the NIT last night though. so i've got that going for me. which is nice. :\

so, one blog topic i have noted in my blackberry notes is "left bb at work". (bb = blackberry :B) so, this was a few weeks ago. i, left my blackberry at work. got home... no phone. and i swear to god my palms got a little sweaty! i felt, i dunno, just.... off or something. my whole world was upside down and topsy turvy. food didn't taste right. i couldn't think. so i ended up going BACK to work and grabbing my phone and coming back home. about a half hour round trip. how sad is that? pathetic and sad. but oh how i did love my phone that night. TOO much, probably. :)

Am I done? Is this manly? :\

2010-02-24T08:36:00.002-06:00

Yes, I have fallen off the manly wagon. The whole find a mentor thing threw me for a huge loop. I should probably just skip that one and do 29 out of 30 manly days... but my nature being what it is, if I can't do it exactly right step for step BAM IT'S OVER NO THANKS GOODBYE!@#$@#@#$

Ahhh good times. My Stuart Smalley self esteem books did come though. I'm about halfway through the book. I definitely have severely low self esteem, which manifests itself though extreme passivity. There are exercises in there which are almost exactly what I had imagined they would be. "List some times u was passive. Write how u could has been different. Write how things would work out different if u was different. Be specific." *meltface* It's like, I'm reading this book and know I'm messed up and know I want to change, but the thought of actually doing some of it terrifies me. Like, WHAT? You want me to speak up for myself? Share an opinion? WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU!@!# WHY WOULD U TORTURE ME LIKE THAT!@# AAAGHGHHFHFHGHDFHHG$%@#$%@#$%@#$%@#$%

Also my shoes are all scuffed and filthy again. :(

Little Caesars and talk of manliness

2010-01-12T10:53:00.003-06:00

1st.... PIZZA PIZZA! So, I got a Little Caesar's sausage "hot n ready" pizza last night and an order of the crazy bread. It's not the first time but as I was walking out i thought to myself SELF!@# BLOG ABOUT THE BRILLIANCE OF WHAT JUST HAPPENED! So, now i am. And when i say brilliance of what just happened, i mean that i walked into the place, and literally 60 seconds or so later i'm walking out with a pizza and bread. i have NO idea why it took so long for a pizza place to come up with this idea. just have the most commonly ordered pizzas ready all the time and let people pop in and buy them! WE PUT A MAN ON THE MOON.... but it took decades of time to figure out that people might want pizza ready in a flash? and they are only five bucks! it's astonishing. and wonderful. it's not the greatest pizza on the planet. but it is edible pizza ready right away for five dollars. just fantastic.

2nd... manliness. ok! so i did actually shine my shoes sunday night. and i did NOT wreck them! :0 they look nice! its a shocking turn of events. my brother and i are also working on developing some sort of manly hobbies, you know, besides typing up tons of horrible crap on the internet!@# so far we are playing a game of online chess against each other. :\

day 3 of my 30 days to manliness thing... might be difficult. i'm supposed to find a mentor. which, sounds pretty horrible. i have a few ideas, but, i really don't wanna ask some dude HEY! I SUCK AND YOU DON'T! COULD U TEACH ME SOME NOT SUCKING STUFF!@# TIA!@# i'm thinking maybe i go about it a little more low-key. like, just talk to them casual, maybe do some things with them and pick their brain without them realizing that the brainpicking actually = mentoring! ahhh??? hmm. i wonder if part of the manliness of the task is having the balls to ask someone to be a mentor. :(

also, STILL waiting for my self-esteem handbook. it probably won't ever come because i suck so much ass.

Hello? Self Esteem? Is that you?

2010-01-08T16:27:00.002-06:00

Damn, I was hoping it was. Still waiting for my stupid stuart smalley book. I am going through a "Be a Better Man in 30 Days" thing from a website called Art of Manliness. Tonight I am supposed to shine my shoes. :\ Apparently that will help make me manly. Or manlier. Though that isn't saying much. But at least I will have wrecked my shoes with horrible polish! So that will be nice. I can't wait.

okok, NOW i'm back. seriously! no! for realz yo!

2010-01-06T14:22:00.003-06:00

i bet no one will believe me. that's ok. i will write for my own benefit!@# *looks at self* SELF!@# IS THIS BENEFITING MYSELF!?? :\ i'm wondering who can answer that question. cuz i know i can't. :B

i don't have much to rail about today. mostly just wanted to restart this badboy and get back into a groove of writing. see, i'm embarking on a life-turning-around period of... my life and i like to write! so i'm trying to do less time wasting and more actual DOING of things. like writing. reading. maybe start up some racquetball or running or something. cook new things. basically, anything that's not rotting my brain on the tv.

my brother and i both have this innate sense of ourselves being horrible. like, that is what we believe deep down inside. and so we fight that, but it always wins out. WELL NOT THIS TIME HORRIBLE INSIDES!@# not this time no sir thank you sir! this time i've ordered a self-esteem book and workbook! so who knows, maybe i will post my way through the book here as a chronicle of my journey from horrible to great baeness and the baetude of manly wonder.

though i gotta say, when i think about working on "self-esteem" issues, i can't help think about stuart smalley garbage! OOOHH!@# I'M GOOD ENOUGH! I'M SMART ENOUGH! AND DOGGONE IT... PEOPLE LIKE ME! sigh. maybe i'll just go buy some swillbeer. hopefully it will be drinkable.

back and as horrible as evar!@# w00t!@#

2009-06-22T14:20:00.004-05:00

i think "w00t" is now passe in internet terms. actually, i think it has been for years! which, in internet times means that it is from, like, the stone ages or something!@# or maybe the iron age, i'm not sure. an age from a long time ago. paleolithic era? okimfinished. i don't really want to talk about w00t or w00ting at all. i don't know why i typed that in my title & it struck me how outdated a term it now is.

I CAN HAS W00T!@# i think an interwoob dinosaur might say that.

ok, so! for my great blog comeback, i'm going to dive right back in to commercials that PISS ME OFF!@# today's hatred gets spewed towards bud light and their whole "drinkability" campaign. seriously? you're going to sell me your crap swillbeer by telling me it's drinkable? DRINKABLE? well good god nothing like going out on a limb!@# might as well just tell me its a liquid! NOW MORE LIQUIDY THAN EVAR!@# WOOT!@# bam, that's bud light's new ad. IT GOES DOWN UR THROAT EASIER THAN A TUBE DOWN A THROAT THAT LOVES TUBES IN IT!@# and by that we mean that it goes down your throat easily because of its drinkableness!@# what kind of beverages are people trying to sell that aren't drinkanble? isn't that a pretty basic beverage requirement? ARE YOU TIRED OF TRYING TO DRINK BEER WITH THE CONSISTENCY OF CONCRETE? OF COURSE YOU ARE! WELL U ARE IN FOR A TREAT, BECAUSE ANHUESER BUSCH HAS DISCOVERED A NEW PROPRIETARY AND PATENTED TECHNOLOGY THAT ALLOWS US TO PRODUCE BEER THAT IS, GET THIS, DRINKABLE! BUD LIGHT, GET YOURS TODAY.

maybe my blog could get sponsored by sam adams or something. >;0

wow, i haven't rited anything for a long time!

2006-10-04T14:33:00.000-05:00

honestly i forgot i even had a blog!@# this is wayyyy better than i remember it being! i didn't remember posting this many words!!! now i am inspired to keep riting stuff down. here on this blog, not on paper or somewhere else where you, the lucky reader, can't see them. i will begin by riting down notes to myself on various horrible topics as they pop into my brain/head so that i can remember what to rite about instead of just coming here and typing whatever falls out all stream-of-consciousness like. which would be bad all the way around with losses flying all over the internet and into the eyeballs of people unfortunate enough to stumble upon this BEST BLOG IN THE WORLD!!!

songs i hate, and other songs i hate

2005-04-29T09:00:00.001-05:00

what. the. hell. is up with that newish pop/hiphop song that is Über popular right now that has the horrible chipmunk singing in it!@# SERIOUSLY!@# WTF!@#$@#$ the chipmunk sings "iiii'm so looonellyyy" words and then some hip hop artist person starts singing horrible song words like a normal song!@#$ but throughout the whole song there are these chipmunks singing about being lonely!@#$@#$ W.T.F.!@#$ WORST SONG EVAR!@#$@#$ and it's on the radio ALL THE TIME!@#$@#$ the other day it came on the radio while i was driving!@# i was just starting to turn a corner and then it happened. i heard those god-forsaken chipmunks and immediately i'm like GAAHHAHDFGHSDHWErtwert!#$%!$%!@#$%@# and almost got in a crash in my haste to change the channel before my ears started to bleed!@#$ stupid chipmunks. jesus.

speaking of songs made by the devil himself, what the hell is going on with rap when in order to be different and fresh you have to WHISPER-RAP!@#$@#$ have you heard the new ying-yang twins song? with all the whispering? what the hell!@#$ and it's one of the dirtiest fricking songs you'll EVER hear whispered on the radio!@#$@#$ i wish the beat wasn't so catchy!@#$@#$@#$ gah!@#$@#$ also, one of the lines bothers me to no end. they say something like, "she's got her thong in her mouf. take tha thong out, put my (u know what) in". it's close to that anyway. um. why does she have her thong in her mouth? is she retarded? that's just wrong. maybe it's not a retard, maybe it is just some chick who loves eating and sucking on her underwear. i'm sure tons of chicks do that. at least, the ones that'll suck on yingyangs probably do.

but i don't KNOW 50 million people!@#$

2005-04-14T09:37:00.000-05:00

so why should i care if i can CALL 50 million people!@#$ cingular wants me to care? well, i don't!@# and i don't think most other people do either!@# i can count on one hand the number of people i talk to on the phone on a regular basis, so unless THEY have cingular, i could give a rat's ass how many people i can call for free!@#$@#$@#$ WHY DO I LET THESE IDIOTIC COMMERCIALS BOTHER ME!@#$@#$

gardening for sandwich reasons

2005-04-12T13:57:00.001-05:00

yeah, so i'm thinking about starting a garden. no, i've never gardened before. at least, not on my own. my dad always had a huge garden and grew tons and tons of stuff. tomatoes, peppers, cucumbers, lettuce, corn, broccoli, cauliflower, canatloupe, strawberries and all sorts of stuff.

turns out my dad's gardenings made me hate tomatoes. well, not tomatoes per se, but any tomato you can buy!@# i've never ever had a tomato at a restaurant or from a grocery store that could hold a candle to the ones that my dad grew!@# it's like nothing else is even really a tomato, they are more like mushy red globs that people CALL tomatoes but I KNOW THAT THEY ARE JUST TRYING TO PULL THE TOMATOWOOL OVER MY EYES!@#$@#$ my dad's were so good i could eat them in tomato sandwiches! just bread, mayo, salt'n'peppa (ooh baby BABY) sorry about that, umm, oh yeah and a slice of a big tomato! bam! sandwich goodness!@#

now i can't even take them on a burger or anything because they are all just so horrible!@# so, ANYWAY, making a short story long, i recently watchd SPANGLISH! and in there adam sandler makes this kickass sandwich!@# it's like a modified blt with a fried egg on it and stuff! and it looks so damn good i want to make one for myself, but the only way i'd like it is if i had a homegrown tomato! so, i bought some seed to start a small garden of my own so that i can grow my own tomatoes and make my own spanglish blt sandwich!@# also, most likely my garden will be a gigantic disaster and not only will i not eat a supersweet sandwich, but i will spend tons of time and energy and wreck my back yard!@#$ woot!@# i can't wait!@# *piratejigg*

finally remembered that damn commercial

2005-04-04T16:32:00.000-05:00

it came on again the other night and i was like HEY THAT'S THAT COMMERCIAL THAT I WAS GONNA PUT IN MY BLOG THAT NO ONE READS!@# WOOT!@#$ and when i say that i was like that what i mean is that i remembered it was the commercial.

anyway, here it is:

so this big black dude is sitting in a women's clothing shop, obviously waiting for his woman to come out of a dressing room to show him an outfit she's tried on. while he waits, he is rehearsing his response. you hear him muttering under his breath stuff like, "YOU look great", and "you look GREAT" "that looks really nice" and stuff and he's trying real hard to sound sincere as he is muttering!@# so then finally the woman comes out, and you don't really see her except for a little bit of her leg and it kind of looks like, i don't know, maybe she's dressed as a prostitute or something!@# whatever she's wearing, it's colorful and outrageous and obviously god awful ugly. so she says "well, what do you think"? and the guy's eyes kind of bug out and he's like dahhh.... :O and stuff!@#

so the chick gets mad and that's the commercial! i think it was for a poker website, cuz they were like "don't have a good pokerface? come play on our website with other retards and lose money without having your FACE be the reason!" or something like that.

anyway, it was funny. :|

april fools

2005-04-01T14:22:00.000-06:00

well, this stinks!@# i typed up a whole bunch of words about monkeys and then i hit the "publish post" button, and little did i know that blogger.com had disguised the button!@# turns out it wasn't a publish post button at all!@# no no! it was a TOWN MY TYPINGS BUTTON!@# good one blogger, u got me good!@# april fool's on me! ha ha!!@#$@#$ (@)(@)(@)(@) <--anger symbols!@#

now i will have to re-type all my monkey words and they are sure to be WAY WAY worse than the original monkey words that blogger just tricked me into towning into bolivian!@#$

*edit*
wtf!@# now i post this april fools post and my monkey words are totally already posted bigtime!@#$ I GUESS BLOGGER'S APRIL FOOLS JOKE WAS MORE COMPLICATED THAN I THOUGHT!@#$ touchy blogger.com, touchy! good work!@# JOLLY GOOD SHOW!@#$ */edit*

commercials i like

2005-04-01T13:22:00.000-06:00

for some reason i find those careerbuilder.com commercials riveting, the ones where the guy works in an office full of monkeys? i'm not sure why but i think it's because monkeys are COMEDY GOLD GENIUS!!@#$ i especially dig the part where he's trying to talk to the monkey in the next cubicle and the monkey picks up the phone like he's talking to someone and the guy just kind of looks at him and says I KNOW YOU'RE NOT TALING TO ANYBODY!@#$@#$

not only is it funny because monkeys are funny, but it is ALSO funny because those of us who work in offices can relate because a lot of our coworkers are even WORSE than working with actual monkeys!@#$ there are days when i would KILL for my coworkers to all be monkeys instead of the actual people that they are. but i don't think killing would ever help accomplish that. :( *i kill a bunch of people* *i look at my coworkers* *they are still not monkeys*

i also like the AOL commercial with the SPAMITY CALAMITY!!@# that's good and funny. :|

a few notes for thrs., 3/31/05

2005-03-31T09:08:00.000-06:00

i had nothing to do with those nigerian drug smugglers on lost last night, SO EVERYONE QUIT LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!@# nigeria is a big country and no i didn't know them. also i might not even BE from nigeria so just leave me alone!!!

so, i'm an illinois fan and the final 4 is coming up saturday. they play at about 5:00 or so. i'm petrified. i feel like i should be excited and giddy and maybe even a little tingly with aniticipatory glee, but mostly all i feel is nervousness and fear and anxiety!@# i'm not sure what that says about me. probably that i have deep seated self-esteem issues and also probably that i care too much about some "student"-athletes from a school that i never went to!@# (my dad went there) why do we get our identities so wrapped up in these teams? it's weird. anyway, i hope they win. the last time they were in the final4 was in 1989 when they lost to michigan. i was 18 at the time. illinois was considered by many the team to beat. they'd already beaten michigan twice in the regular season, so when michigan dropped in a put-back basket as time expired, i was devastated. why is it my teams always choke? i don't get it. the 1985 bears don't count, they were unbeatable. notice how well the've done in the 20 years following that one. echh.. so, come on illini, it's been 20 years since i could celebrate a title, SO BRING IT ON HOME TO PAPA!@#@#

(please?)

one last big fish note

2005-03-30T15:02:00.000-06:00

i forgot to mention that my wife LOVED big fish and said that it was better than finding neverland. TAKE THAT JOHNNY DEPP!!@# U GOT SERVED BY EWAN MCGREGOR!! *points at johnny and laughs*

off the neverland hook! (punbean)

2005-03-30T13:49:00.001-06:00

i planted a punbean right in my title! shame on me. well, the wife ended up watching neverland yesterday and declared that i would most likely hate it! so, i'm off the hizzook on that one. sometimes my wife is a lot like a mcgriddles, in that she will watch a movie when i'm not around and then shield me from the pain.

so, instead of neverland spiciness i watched BIG FISH last night!@# it was a damn fine movie too. i could have SWORN i'd loathe that movie based on the previews, but sometimes previews just don't cut the mustard, and in this case mustard was definitely not cut or spread onto a sandwich and then cut, or really even taken out of the jar or squeeze bottle or anything.

how's about a book review instead? sweet.

2005-03-29T12:33:00.001-06:00

ok, so i did just finish reading Dan Brown's Digital Fortress book!! it was very entertaining and fun to read. much much better than the horrible last juror grisham book i read prior to this book that i just read!@# digital fortress has some pretty good characters in it and the plot moves along really quicklike and doesn't give away where it is going, which is something that i long for in all forms of entertainment. there is nothing worse than predictable. so anyway this book makes you think you know what's going down and whatever but then you find out that the answer was an author fooling-you trick!@#$ and then i was like :D yay!

the only negative was towards the end, i felt like i was thinking ahead of the people in the book. like, i knew what they were missing and was getting frustrated at how STOOPID these people were!@# espcecially considering that they are supposed to be some of the absolute brightest people on the planet or whatever!@# they are trying to break this code to save the world (sort of) and they of course have a sweet clue! their clue was (this could be considered spoiler material perhaps so if'n you wanna read the bookentine, then maybe don't read this but it's not like i totally give away a ton or whatever) "the prime difference between the elements responsible for hiroshima and nagasaki"!@# a tip is those are two japanese cities that were all blowed up in WWII by atomic bombs!!@#

so, anyway, these brilliant codebreakers are like DAHHH WAD R B DIFRUNCE BEETWEAN WAD?? I R NETT NO!!! MEBBEE CK OUT DIFRUNCE IN CASHULTEES UR SUMTHENNG? :B :B and on and on thinking all this STUPID stuff about what the clue could mean and i'm sitting there reading this thinking, um, people? elements = like the periodic table or whatever? hydrogen words, atom words. prime difference = some sort of numerical difference between elements or something GOD DAMMIT JUST FIGURE OUT THE ELEMENTS AND SUBTRACT SOME NUMBERS OR SOMETHING!$%@#$#$%^@#%^ *smash smash smash* <-- that is me banging my head on the desk or something nearby that was convenient for having irritated headsmashing times.

anyway, they finally figure it out and i was TOTALLY on the right track and they were all moronic dumbjims!@#$ but, other than that the book was sweet. also there was a guy in there nicknamed jabba! cuz he's fat and gross! and people call him that and he doesn't care!@# awesome. :D

no neverlandings. :(

2005-03-29T10:20:00.000-06:00

well, sorry to disappoint my millions of readers, but it turns out we did NOT watch the neverland deppmovie last night. i played some tennis until about 8:00 and then when i got home my wife was busy and talking on the phone and blah blah then she fell asleep and we never watched it!@# so, i guess any movie words i type up right now would be not too informative!@# also i totally whipped that dudes ass in tennis. i'm sore this morning though, it's been a while since i did more than sit in a chair and type up drivel.

perhaps the movie will be watched tonight, but i doubt it. i think my wife was going to watch it sometime today and then let me know if she still thinks it is a movie that i might want to see in future times!@#

wow, i guess tonight is the night.

2005-03-28T16:30:00.000-06:00

i just spoke with my wife on the phone and the answer is TONIGHT IS THE NIGHT FOR NEVERLAND TIMES!@# i guess she rented it, so now i will be watching it tonight. she said when she asked her sister about borrowing it that she acted kind of "weird", so she rented it instead. i guess her sister thinks that if she loans the movie to us that we will totally town it bigtime or somethng. also she's probably right. so, anyway, now there are guaranteed neverland words that will be typed up and posted tomorrow by my sweeet blog monster!@#$

Finding Neverland?

2005-03-28T14:17:00.000-06:00

:umm: yeah so i guess my wife is all hot and heavy to see this movie. her sister has told her it is the BESTEST MOVIE EVAR!@#$ this same sister has also already purchased Finding Neverland on DVD, which means i have some finding neverland movie watching future times approaching quickly from dead ahead on the space-time fabric or continuum or whatever!@# so, i guess i hope it is good, but i find that VERY difficult to believe!@# i mean, i don't even like peter pan! it's so f'ing GAY!@# and stupid!@#$ and now i'm supposed to believe that a movie about the guy who wrote peter pan, and the family that inspired him to write it is somehow a great superspicy movie? man, i just don't know about all that. i mean, i like johnny depp as much as the next guy (:leer:) but from what i've seen in previews he just walks around under trees wearing a suit and stuff!@# maybe he morphs into captain jack sparrow or edward scissorhands sometime during the show and skewers some of the kids or cuts them up into the shape of bushes!@# now that would be something. well, once i see this show i'll type up some words about it. wish me luck.

blog monster!!@#

2005-03-28T14:12:00.000-06:00

AAARRRGHH$%!@#$!@#%$!#% I R B BLOG MONSTUR!@#$@#$ I STOMP AND KIL U!@#$@#$

sorry about that, i guess that was a blog monster. (scariest. monster. evar.) apparently it was also some sort of pirate. :umm: a blog monster capable of skewering, now THAT is a monster i can get behind!@# also behind it is much better than in front of it and within skewering range!@#$

hopefully this is the last we see of this dreaded beast.

McDonald's Enveloped in Anarchy!!

2005-03-26T13:28:00.000-06:00

well i've got some new news on the mcgriddles front. as i went through the mickey d's drive thru getting lunch for my family today, i noticed the marquis on the mcdonald's sign. it read:

TRY
A
MCGRIDDLE

um, hello? YOUR OWN COMMERCIAL SAYS MCGRIDDLES NOT MCGRIDDLE AND NOW YOUR STORES ARE REBELLING AGAINST YOU AND YOUR CORPORATE MCGRIDDLES DOGMA!@#$@#$ i guess i could have yelled that at the sign while i was in my car. i didn't yell it, but i could have. i did think something along the lines of "well would you look at that. mcdonalds sure is stupid." then i also thought about how i must write this important discovery up in my new blog!@#$@# and now i have so i can discard that thought and not have to worry about it any more!@ hooray!!!

also, in the commercial, why does the girl disappear? she says a woman is like a mcgriddles, sweet and tasty or something on the outside, and inside she's full of everything you want or need or whatever, but then, just like that she's gone? wtf? why? where the hell did she go? is she too good for a loser who eats breakfast at mcdonalds? how great can she be if she just up and leaves what appears to be a perfectly good relationship? GAH!@#

also i guess a woman is like coffee, too. :umm:

vomiting is ntg!!

2005-03-25T12:50:00.000-06:00

fyi ntg = not too great!@# :duh:

i mean, wtf did you think it meant? nevar totally good? nearly timmy's gonads? what? also i'm ntg with acronymns!@# that's more my brother's skill. if you can call it that. it's more like, something he can do, than a skill. i don't know of anyone that gets paid to think up what a string of letters might stand for.

anyway, vomiting sucks. a couple weeks ago i was lying in bed and my stomach was sending my brain a lot of ntg pain signals and stuff, like BRAIN!@# IT IS A TIP THAT HURT AND YEEEECHH!@#$@#$ and my brain didn't care for those tips it was receiving from my stomach because it is a tip that my brain wanted to sleep and not listen to stomach bitchings!@# but the stomach didn't stop and after about an hour of lying there trying to ignore the persistent stomach, my brain finally gave my body the correct signals to get up and go to the bathroom and then i puked bigtime!@# it was a really rough one too, like HHHHOOOOAHHHH!@#@# BLLLLEEEEEAYYYYYYY!!@#$@#$ and i was really straining and puking hard!@# so i guess then i finished and went to sleep.

the next morning when i looked in the mirror i went :O HOLY MOLY WTF HAPPENED TO ME because the answer was black and blue eyes and red splotchy dots on my forehead and stuff!@# i guess i vomited WAY too hard and broke a bunch of capillaries or whatever!@# they are gone now but i don't think i want to vomit again. (i mean my splotches are gone. i still have my capillaries. at least, i'm pretty sure i do.) anyway, i'm not sure why i vomited that time. i hadn't had anything to drink and i didn't have the flu. i think maybe i had food poisoning. my brother tells me maybe i shouldn't eat food poison, and i think that's probably good advice that i will try to take when i have future eating times.

McGriddleses's??

2005-03-25T08:25:00.000-06:00

what is up with that new mcdonald's commercial for their mcgriddles? that chick steals the guys mcgriddle and says something like, "women are like a mcgriddles, sweet on the outside and then full of sausage and eggs and stuff". well, maybe she doesn't quite say that BUT WTF IS UP WITH CALLING IT "A MCGRIDDLES"?? she's only eating one! then at the end the dude says he has to go get himself another mcgriddles!@# i guess i don't understand why one mcgriddle couldn't just be a mcgriddle!@# so, what are plural mcgriddles, mcgriddles'es's? and if so, do mcdonald's workers get tired of listening to customers sounding like gollum when they are ordering? so many questions.

anyway i keep seeing that commercial, and i saw it again last night while i was watching MARCH MADNESS!!@#$@#$ and every time i see it it bugs me more and more and then i decided i would totally blog about it bigtime and now i have!@#

also i hear that the all lowercase thing has been, like, TOTALLY overdone or whatever, which i was not aware of. unfortunately, i have typed horribly like this for so long now that i cannot help it anymore and have become too lazy with the shift key to bother with it!@# so, i guess i will keep typing lowercases until it comes back into vogue 20 years from now like bellbottom jeans and stuff!@#$

the greatest first post in the world evar!!@#

2005-03-24T16:09:00.001-06:00

yes, that is correct, you are currently reading the greatest first blogpost in the long and storied history of blogging!!@# i cannot believe how incredibly lucky you are!! i don't really know what my blog will be about, but i guarantee that it will ALWAYS be words that you can read and stuff like that. so, you've got that going for you.

let's see, blog words. [insert blog words here] does that do anything for you? :dunno:

can i use smilies here to make my blog more horrible and therefore better? ehh, i'm not getting an answer from whoever i just typed that question to. i'm not used to typing to myself i guess. SELF!@#$ self can you use smilies here? SELF HOW THE HECK AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW!@#$ i don't know i was just asking!@#$ WELL KNOCK IT OFF, I WAS BUSY DAYDREAMING ABOUT BASKETBALL AND STUFF!@#$ oh, sooooo sorry! idiot. WHAT DID YOU SAY?!@# me? nothing. carry on.

:D well, i think this is going swimmingly! feel free to comment and suggest topics and yell at me and tell me i'm stupid! maybe i will type about you in future words that i type up to put onto the internets!@#$ :hyper;;;